macapinlac.com

Snow is the root cause of stupidity

It just started to snow last Friday and everyone’s IQ has already dropped a few notches. My usual 15 minute drive home from work has been turned into a 1 hour 15 minute commute. The skytrain, which is usually my place to relax, has turned into a place where sweet old ladies are pulled off the train for their spot by mean spirited kids (I got revenge though, I pushed the stupid kids off the train while the doors were closing).

I really can’t stand the drivers. Let me explain it to you with a simple if-then statement.

if (Weather.conditions.isPerfect() != true) {
car.speed.reduce("15km");
}

This goes for you SUV people too! We get it, already! You’re trying to show everyone that you didn’t waste your money on your SUV investment.

12:17 am 2 Comments

It’s official, I can screw up boiling water.

Folks, send water fast or I will die from dehydration! The water in lower mainland Vancouver has a high level of “turpidity”. In my limited vocabulary, that basically means that there are turds floating in the water *. The recommended approach by the water people is to boil water for 1 minute to remove said “turps”.

So I got my trusty pot, filled 3/4 full of brown crap water and brought to a rolling boil. Set my trusty egg timer for 1 minute and waited. Once the egg timer beeped, I stopped the stove and looked into the water. Still brown!

Is this normal? Isn’t the water supposed to turn all sparkly and drinkable after the boiling? Where is my glacier fresh water filtered by the rockies and brought down from the heavens by cherubs of angels?

* Turpidity is apparently the cloudiness in the water that indicates the amount of organisms in it. Eww, gross!

2:49 am 6 Comments

Nominated.

I’ve been nominated for a Canadian Blog Award. I guess this is like the Canadian version of the bloggies only with less budget, old school blackbackgroundredtext design and minus the cool award shows hosted in South by South West Interactive. Ok, so what’s the prize? Nothing? I don’t even get a gift certificate to the Red Lobster? Taco Bell? How about a McDonald’s monopoly piece?

Best Humour Blog. It definitely is an honor, since someone apparently thinks I’m funny. So what should I do to whore myself out for your votes? Cause I totally will! I don’t think I can top Naked Tivo Apron man though.

Crappola! Its voting time and I’ve already missed a day! Go vote! Vote or Die as P diddy would say.

4:44 pm 8 Comments