Ummm… awkward!
I always have trouble with giving feedback. Especially when the feedback isn’t exactly… how you say… pleasant. I find myself struggling very hard to sugarcoat it.
See, I’m the type of person that falls back on humor to cover up very uncomfortable situations. This worked really well when I was younger and less bitter. Now that I’m older (and jaded), I find that my sense of humor has gotten a lot darker. This doesn’t really work out in my favor in most cases.
Let me explain:
Me: Actually I have to say that its been a pleasure working with you on this trial period but I don’t think that you’re suited to be in our area. I could, however, recommend a few other areas that your skills would be perfect for.
Other person: But. I’m totally qualified for it. I mean, I edit all my html pages in Microsoft Frontpage.
Me: Yea, I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s going to work out.
Other person: …
Me: Hey! Look at it this way. This morning I ran over a squirrel and I heard thunder and lightning the second it happend. Now, I think God hates me and will probably be banished to the eternal depths of hell. At least you’re not me. Right?
Other person: ??
See, I’m trying to give some meaningful feedback about a person (at work). My first reaction is to put: Person is a bit slow on the uptake. The person also requires you, as the another person communicating with them, to repeat concepts and ideas continually to the point of Laryngitis. It’s not pleasant and I’d rather sit here and claw out my own spleen using my own dull fingernails. Actually, my work stress counselor said that I’ve developed a phobia of talking to/interacting with/being around other people because I’ve worked with this person for the last 2 years. It’s only been recently that my anxiety of coming to work has gone away but I believe that I’ve incurred some irreversible mental damage.
Any rewording suggestions?
3:32 pm
Comments on this post
I’m pretty sure we’re related, because 1) we share the same last name 2) you look a lot like my dad 3) we are both painfully BAD at giving feedback. I like the squirrel story. I swear I’ve used that one before.
my sense of humour gets in me in trouble as well, or it creates such an awkward vibe. i get too comfortable around people i shouldn’t get too close to.
I feel much better when I just tell people how it is… For me, sugar coating it makes it worse, and then there’s how to leave it, and the awkwardness of it all is unbareable. I’d rather the person, in a polite and thoughtful way, hear from me that they’re just not suited for the position.
I feel for ya, though. Those are not my favourite times, but, I take a bit of peace knowing that I’m saving them from a position that would make them angry and bitter eventually!
Let’s see… I started working with you about 2 years ago.. Waita minute.. You’re not referring to me, are you?! :O (Love the dog! Or is that a mop you used for your picture?)
I’m horrible at giving feedback as well. When you perfect this, let me know. I need tips too.
I really like the squirrel story. I’m going to use that one next time.
P.S. Happy 4th of July!